monday

fave scent - daisy <3

came up with a to-do list for today, anddd, i actually ticked all of them off the list, wow. still, i do not feel any sense of accomplishment :< instead, i feel empty, and lost without a clear sense of direction.. sigh, can't wait to graduate, but at the same time, i don't wanna graduate in a few months time :<

a photo of me trying (desperately) to get teddy's attention

ah well, seems like there's nothing much for me to look forward to nowadays.. booo :<

CNY'16

longgg overdue CNY photos..

acting cute ;)

Part of my extended family <3

welcoming a new addition to our family (bottom left) - ah beng :)

sly photo intentionally taken without xx hahaha :P

reunion dinner - an insanely AWESOME spread, ALL dishes whipped up by my mum and aunt <3

Chinese New Year has always been my fave time of the year because i get the chance to play dress up and also see the ones who mean a lot to me. this year, i went to m'sia (yet again) for a few days to visit my relatives from my mum's side :) i love how warm they are, how precious they make me feel every time we visit, and how we get a little closer each time we go back. my only gripe is that me and my bro couldn't join them on our annual cny family trip this year :(

yummy food prepared by desmond's mum :D

this cny was also the first time i went to his house on chu er to bai nian. tbh, it was pretty awkward, and i've never felt so out of place in a long long time. had a rather unpleasant experience when i was there too, sigh :(

last cny steamboat with the goldies at wan yi's house!

we finished (almost) all of the food! :D

discovered mini mahjong tiles..

goldies! :D

went to wan yi's house for the last cny steamboat this afternoon cos everyone couldn't find a common day during the cny period haha :P learnt from wan yi that jay jay (her chihuahua) passed away a month ago :( first time not seeing jay jay in the house felt a little weird :( oh wells, i'm sure he's in a better place now :)
p.s. lost a kg when i took my weight at wan yi's place :P

afraid /

the truth is, i'm pretty afraid of what's gonna come next..

50% presentation,
fyp,
job finding,
quiz,
finals..

what else have i missed out?

oh, us.




"They tell me I must wade into waters, where I will soon drown."

"We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love."

What could be so wrong with me that they would be willing to judge me and dismiss me after knowing of my existence? Because of the passionate animosity, I was upset by the underlying assumption that it was me who was making up some imaginary drama. I acknowledge that I'm definitely not facing the worst situation known to man, but it is still my situation nonetheless and who doesn't wanna save themselves from a sticky situation ahead?


Thanks dude for not understanding, but

thank you for always gifting me with slighting looks every time we meet,
thank you for not being able to ignore my very lovable presence (cos i gotcha ;)),
thank you for showing me how disapproval is supposed to look like.

I wish I can donate him a kidney or take a bullet for him too, to prove how "suitable" I am.



sigh, xoxo.