When we leave the world behind us and all I see is you, that could be all I'll ever need.

Mornings /

Went for my very FIRST morning jog in my entire life a few days back on Tuesday. Slept for like 5 hours (?) then got up at 5.30am and I was out of my house at 5.45am! :D I felt super proud of myself although it may be no biggie for others. Trying to lose my tummy fats! But alas, I didn't go for a morning jog the next day cause I was really tired. :( But I went on Thursday night and today morning as well! Didn't actually jog, was walking A LOT. Stamina dropped pretty badly - from lousy stamina to no stamina. :(

Well, at least I managed to take some photos on Tuesday!

It was sooo dark when I started jogging!

Then it started to brighten!~

Pretty colours~

Instagram tree which umm, broke into two? I don't know how the sky changed colour within a few seconds! I swear the two photos of the Instagram trees were taken within seconds from each other!

Greens and blues~

Walk away,

then come back.

All's well that ends well.

moi nous deux?

I saw papa drinking his can of beer yesterday night. It was for him to sleep better at night, he said. I smiled, and he asked jokingly, "wanna try?" I told him no yesterday night, but now, I want so much to drown myself in alcohol (in the middle of the day lol?). Well, who can actually get drunk from a can of beer anyway? I want to leave a mark on my wrist. To carve myself a sign of disbelief, disappointment, fear, anger, sadness? But are these emotions meant for you, or for myself? So thoroughly disappointed this time round, but is it disappointed at myself? Is it? A large part, yes. But I'm sure that disbelief is yours to take. No doubt.

"Every hurt we have is represented by a pebble, stone, or boulder." How many pebbles, stones and boulders make up the Earth where I'm living in? You mean the world to me. And that is just how much effect you have over me. In that 8 minutes of silence, that's how much hurt I can feel, you may feel. It sucks when you're ignored by the person whose attention is the only thing you want in the world. Being ignored is one of the worst feelings, but I'm sure there's someone who's out there to give  you the attention others didn't give you. Someone, someday. In that 8 minutes, I wanted so badly to have someone to talk to, to confide in. I scrolled through my list of contacts, I texted G and just told her I'm "unhappy", who replied so kindly, it just brought me to (even more) tears, that I just couldn't tell her what was going on. Thank you, for telling me that I can text or call if I want to. I couldn't. I wanted to text WL, to text J. I couldn't. I keep saying I don't care, but I do. It hurts. I wish I can not care. I bet you'll ask xx for lunch/dinner/supper, spite me for all I care. I bothered too much. We sacrificed a lot for each other, we are both tired. 

I'm sorry I constantly want to talk to you. I'm sorry when you take long to reply, I get impatient. I'm sorry if I say things that piss you off. I'm sorry if I come off as annoying. I'm sorry if you don't wanna talk to me as much as I wanna talk to you. I'm sorry I don't have any other best friends. I'm sorry if I come off as being clingy, but it's just me missing you. But most of all, I'm sorry for being me.




Will we be alright? Is it still what it was?

E.A.T.

OH NO! I've been stuffing myself silly with food ever since holidays started! >< It's not obvious to others, but I know that I've definitely GAINED WEIGHT!!! My shorts are tighter, my tummy is undoubtedly much larger :( and my mum just told me that my romper looks tight on me and asked me to size up!!! :((( It's really very sad to suddenly gain all the weight, especially at my tummy and thighs. :( Recently, I keep eating even though I know I'm already full. What is happening??? :(

One of my fave fruits - Guava with chopped sour plum thingy (idk what it's called) 

Fruits are not fattening (i hope) but contain sugar too I guess? 

Oh dear, I really have no idea why I love toasts so, so much nowadays! Butter sugar and peanut butter?! OH NO! :(

4 Fingers!~ Had these wings for lunch one day which Desmond kindly treated me cause I was, no, I am broke. :'( Sooo good! But super duper fattening :'( Uh oh.

Went to Chock Full of Beans at Changi Village on Friday for brunch too.

Food was pretty good, ambience was alright and staff were friendly too! ^^

Super cute 3D latte art! <3

Ta-dah~ Econs buddy Geraldine^^

On the other hand, work has FINALLY ENDED! YAY! I met really weird and annoying people while working, but at least there were a few good colleagues there too. :) I'm also quite fortunate that this summer job can be quite slack (most of the times, especially towards the end), but it can be really stressful too. Sometimes, I feel like this is a sucky job because I have to take in all the nonsensical stuffs callers have towards the government. LIKE I CAN SOLVE THEM FOR YOU?! But at the end of the day, I'm actually pretty grateful to have a colleague who's there to hear all my rants and my occasional vulgarities (haha) and laugh it off with me. :) 

Well, I do have a few grumbles about this job and my supervisor as well. 

Firstly, we weren't told that we were not allowed to go toilet together. Secondly, I wanna clarify that it was really coincidental that we wanted to pee at the same time. 

Thirdly, Shirley didn't faint haha. 

And also, once, I had a stomachache and had to go to the toilet urgently. I logged in at 2.30pm, went toilet at 2.32pm, and came back at 2.38pm. And Shirley had to ask me where I went in the group chat.. I think 6 minutes was really, really fast enough already. I was really pissed off!

Okay, at least I've left already! I've learnt quite a bit from this job - how to stand up for myself and how to better deal with the reality trash in society today. I don't think I'll ever return again, but who knows? ;)